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To Shear Sheep By

To Lose Sleep By

To Go Nuts By

To kick Butts By

To Wash Brains By

To Catch Trains By

To Scare Squirrels By

To Chase Girls By

To Print Bucks By

To Fuck Ducks By

Blues mutilations and hints of rockabilly; sometimes rousing, sometimes moody, electronically tinged rock. Carnival Romance takes you on a stroll down the midway of the traveling amusement show of human (and inhuman) relationships. You’ll find bright lights and low-lifes, creaky rides and rigged games of chance, the Spiderwoman and an ether rider. Listening to Carnival Romance, you enter a weird funhouse whose every room tells a strange and wild story.

Relationship: the way in which two or more people or things are connected

Romance: A fictitiously embellished account or explanation

Carnival Romance: A fanciful sideshow of relational exchanges, excuses and excesses.


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Lyrics

I’ve got a Nikon Camera embedded in my forehead
I take secret pictures of the scandals in the woodshed
I upload the raw files to a server in Bulgaria
Some Russian codes the pixels into music that I’m streamin’ at ‘cha

How can I be in love with your day?
When it all comes rainin’ down on me
And the people who run your world
try and make me pay

So I hide out in the ether
Beamin’ all forbidden knowledge
Straight into your right hemisphere

The kids hear the music and their brains decode the pictures
They get sudden urges to throw off the common strictures
They start new religions and invent complex philosophies
Of gender morphing mutants building post-human technologies

They’re way beyond eros, they’re way beyond reason
They’re teasing out meaning from nebula and pathogens
The media loves ’em, the parents berate them
The government jails ’em it’s just the way it’s always been

So how can I be in love with your day?
When it all comes rainin’ down on me
And the people who run my brain
try and make me stay

So I hide out in the ether
Beamin’ all forbidden feeling
Straight into the wrong hemisphere


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Lyrics

She comes late at night
When I’m weakened by sleep
She condenses from smoke like the breath of a cold night
As she slips through the sheets
To press cooly beside me

Her touch burns like ice
As she freezes my soul
She condenses my pain
To a Crystal of cold glass
As she presses on me
Chilling fear as it rises inside me

Skin to skin we entwine
till I can’t find my breath
Then she whispers white noise
like the wind through the wild night
As we twist in the sheets
And she melts into nothing

Slipped away
And I’m crumpled there on the floor

She comes late at night
When I’m weakened by sleep
She condenses from smoke like the breath of a cold night
As she slips through the sheets
To press cooly beside me


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Lyrics

An edge of calm dangled over the town after the shelling stopped.
The front had moved north…

He was sitting in the back of the bar, glaring at a blank sheet of paper,
wondering if she’d turn up, if she were even still alive.

Then a back door creaked and he saw her slink out from the kitchen,
grab two shots from the bar
and drop down on the bench across from him.

she glanced warily around the room, tossed back her first shot,
then leaned close to him and said

“I’ve come down from the war in the mountains to tell you
How I want my world to be”

CHORUS:
“I don’t wanna be bound by the past dear,
Let’s try something fresh now
No god, no country, no master
It’s all in our hands now”

“I don’t wanna be lead to disaster
It’s time to take charge now
Now God, no country, no master
It’s all in our hands now”

He waved some of the smoke away so he could try and see her better
and she peered at him through squinting eyes and said

“You sit here and you drink and you talk and you write,
but you don’t chafe against the texture of what really goes on out there

I’ve been lied to by communists
and beaten by fascists till I’m sick of all
their tired ideologies

Right now all I want’s a warm bath, some cool sheets
and the touch of someone I care about, or at least don’t loathe”

Then she tossed back her 2nd shot,
put her hand on his, and leaned oh so close to him and said

“I’ve come down from the war in the mountains to tell you
How I want our world to be”

CHORUS


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Lyrics

She loves him cause he’s crazy and so out of control
He’s so dangerous

She says creative chaos is her major life goal
She’s so dangerous

She kicks a limo door in while he nibbles her ear
He picks a broker’s pocket while she’s shifting his gear

And then they
hop on a bus and act obscene in the rear
They’re so dangerous

They’ve caused a fuss, they ditch the bus they’ve got half a plan
They give the stolen wallet to a homeless old man

And then he
touches her cheek with such a delicate hand
He’s so dangerous

She takes him to a dive bar where the Aryans go
She’s so dangerous

He makes fun of the skinheads then they gotta lay low
He’s so dangerous

They hide behind a warehouse tag the walls and drink beer
They make love on the train tracks as the whistle draws near

And in the
light of that engine everything seems so clear
they’re so dangerous


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Lyrics

They’ve turned the corner and they’re gonna resist
They’ve turned the corner and they’re gonna resist
They’ve turned the corner and they’re gonna resist
There’s no better time than now

Ann makes small figures from nail clippings she’s hoarded
Seals them up in resin safe for all time
They bring down lightening then she’s struck by the fire
No one can get away she hopes it brings a better day now

She’s turned the corner now she’s gonna exist
They’ve turned the corner now they’re gonna resist

Zed lurks in shadows tripping thugs as they run by
A notch cut in his soul for each fall
Bumps into Ann and then he’s caught in her fire
No one can get away she touches him he’s swept away now

He’s turned the corner now he’s gonna exist
They’ve turned the corner and they’re gonna resist
They’ve turned the corner and they’re gonna resist
Now the hard part’s trying to find a new way


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Lyrics

It happens over and over again, you know it
Happens every time, yes it do
It happens over and over again
Until the next time it feels fine

It happens every morning, you know it
Happens in the middle of the Night
So I’ve been told
It happens over and over again
Until the next time it feels fine

You’ve got your body
You’ve got the thoughts in your mind
But when everything’s been taken and
You’re shackled and forsaken then you know
You’ve got nothing but time

They’ll take your body
And then they’ll try and take your mind
Drowning in disaster all you wish
is they’d take faster but for now
You’ve got nothing but time

It hurts your head while they’re screaming
It grabs you deep inside
The middle of the night
So I’ve been told

It captures every emotion you own
Until the next time it feels
Absolutely fine

If fills your head while you’re sleeping
If sleep comes at all
The nightmares bray snort and whine
Yes they do

And it happens over and over again
Until the next time it feels fine

You’ve got your body
You’ve got the thoughts in your mind
But when everything’s been taken and
You’re shackled and forsaken then you know
You’ve got nothing but time

They’ll rape your body
And then they’ll try and rape your mind
Drowning in disaster all you wish
is they’d rape faster but for now
You’ve got nothing but time


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Lyrics

The Spiderwoman said you’ve gotta
Join my ten-in-one or we’re through
She sneered, what are you afraid of
Don’t you know we’re all just misfits like you

CHORUS:
It may not be the best plan
If I’m not careful
This thing could get out of hand
But what else can I do when I’ve been
Kicked out left out all the time

Come join our sideshow
There’s so much you don’t know
We’ll teach you our secrets
You’ll feel like a shining star

We’ll give you belonging
The meaning you’re longing for
Come join our sideshow
Let’s see who you really are
You know you wanna know

The Spiderwoman said we’re bugging out
So either come with or blow
So I looked around her trailer
and wondered where all my porno would go

CHORUS

The Spiderwoman turned away, coughed up
Some blood then trembled and sighed
Turned back to me and said
I know I’ll be ok with you by my side

CHORUS


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Lyrics

Let me hold you close now
As visions ooze through all the seams
This is how our story ends now
She infected me with dreams

Caught in this delightful sickness
Stuck by some other’s schemes
I’m so shivery and delirious
She injected me with dreams
and I feel so feverish


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Lyrics

I see moss on cracked concrete
the fractured grid all askew

Broken glass on wet highways
as blood trickles through dew

I’ve watched as all the lost hours
slipped away, waved adieu

leaving behind all these loose stories
scratched in that surface
I’m tired of viewing

When I look in the mirror of morning
you know it’s true

I see you
Yeah I see you
Ah, you


STATE OF THE WORLD is a rocking serving of songs about the rich stew of questionable meats that is the world of today. Ingredients include a pinch of sarcasm, a portion of resistance to authority, a couple of jiggers of cheap shots and more, served up as refreshment for the lusty, drugged-up aliens who use our world as their playground.

What do those alien taste buds say? Mmmmm, tastes like chicken…but also has the flavor of British rock and pop and more than a dash of many other fine musical ingredients.


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Lyrics

Alien worshipers clone dead babies
a dog’s thrown off a balcony
two strangers save a burning man
and cancer patients are arrested for getting high

CHORUS:
Such is the state of the world today
moving forward, moving backward
such is the state of the world today
world without end
such is the state of the world today
ever faster
such is the state of the world today
sliding into the future

Blue ice crashes through the roof of a building
four girls caught in cross fire in London
in Gainsville, a shrunken head collection for sale
and bigfoot’s father is dead

CHORUS

Old ladies befriend robot dogs
a hit and run driver takes a dead pedestrian home
John Crighton’s lost in space
me I’m sittin’ here watching it all and gettin’ high


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Lyrics

So the 21st century started out bad
well get happy, get happy
it’s the punch for our judy, it’s some cusser’s last stand
let’s crash the ruling party it’s the end of the world for you

So the 21st century’s gotten way outa hand
well get happy, get happy
it plays well on the tube, all the real world we can stand
I bought a new TV to watch the end of the world with you

So the 21st century’s going real bad
well get happy, get happy
our lives and our dreams are just the world’s passing fad
so write the fucking future it’s the end of this world for you


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Lyrics

Ray stole radios from small airplanes down in Texas
sold them in South America for a time
He brought back cocaine in small figurines of Jesus
did a lot of lines on the side

CHORUS:
When your moment comes
you better be ready to ride
and when that moment comes…

Then things got hot and Ray decided it was time to travel
he’d give the middle east a try

Ray first met Robert in a coffee house in Cairo
shared a lump of hash on the side
Bob made his first kill as a child soldier in Uganda
he had a lot on his mind

CHORUS

Bob had a toke, savoured the smoke and
laughed at Ray and told him
the crazy shit he had in mind

“There’s this loudmouth christian preacher
flying diamonds out of Zaire
I’d like to take him for a ride
we could snatch his rocks and his fake Kimberly certificates
and I could sell ’em in a heartbeat
take his guns and plan besides (you’re a pilot, right?)”

Ray radioed this missionary they’d heard of in
Congo who spoke Navajo
and she said, in Navajo
“I can take you to that big metal bird, but you gotta get me
a fake passport, an international driver’s license,
a small lead box painted camouflage, and, oh yeah,
get me the hell out of here and up to
Niger when this is all over.”
So thirteen days later Ray and Bob drove a stolen
Land Rover into Kinshasa
to meet up with the scrawny, bald, “missionary” Liz

When Liz jumped in Ray noticed that she had a tattoo —
a swastika on her thigh…Ray wondered
what is this skinhead nazi pseudo-missionary
doing in Africa on this ride

CHORUS

They found the plane it looked deserted
things seemed way too quiet
Bob and Ray ran inside

There were no stinking diamonds on that plane
only the smell of death and gasoline.
Liz blocked the door, torched the bird
hot wired the rover and tore off with a twisted laugh
as Bob and Ray screamed inside the burning plane.
Liz had the diamonds in her backpack,
drool ran down her chin

Liz was spotted tearing out of Abu Dhabi
headed up the road to Dubai
driving a ’67 Caddy Eldorado
a suitcase nuke by her side

CHORUS

She prayed to Jesus chugged a beer
and gunned the engine
and then, that girl went for a ride
yeah she went for a ride
a twisted unholy ride


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Lyrics

It’s not a problem
it’s just that I catch fire from things at times.
From friction when our worlds collide
from lightning when we tumble side by side.
We’ve burned our illusions
but I keep stumbling forward every day
one foot leads the other
that’s my reality.

CHORUS:
Turn on the machine
Turn on the machine
Turn on the machine

Doing what I need to,
or think I need to seems to get me by.
Then in some dark bar
I’ll flash on something lost and crush a sigh.
You’ve burned my illusions
but I keep moving forward every day.
Touched by a demon
let’s pay the bill, and get out of here.

CHORUS


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Lyrics

I get lost in the glow of the TV
counting all the subtle ways they deceive.
I grow numb, as those who wanna control us
push us backward let’s push forward again
oh yeah, moving backward moving forward again

I get sick of politicians and preachers
and the way they try to play on our fears.
Go away, I don’t need your distortions
you push backward I push forward again
oh yeah, moving backward moving forward again

I feel lost, beaten down by religion
beaten up by those who pray on our fears
Tear it down, all their fears and religion
send them backward move us forward again
oh yeah, moving backward moving forward again


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Lyrics

Listen to me, and I’ll tell you something
’bout people with something to say
I’ve got no big problem with their need to be loved
but you know sometimes they just get in my face

I know you like it like this
so forceful and yet so unkind
keep talking at me
my mind’s blind

I can’t remember my name
I can’t remember my name
It always happens to me when I’ve been thinking too much
you know, I can’t remember my name

Listen to me, and I’ll tell you something
well, I’ve got nothing to say
yeah, I’ve got nothing to say
I’ve got nothing…


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Lyrics

We touch down in our silver ships
suit up and jump out real fast.
Dressed in our shades and Hawaiian shirts, hey,
we’re on vacation at last.
Blending in with you earthlings you know
having dumb fun with you’s such a blast

Every morning it’s angel dust
sniffed on the stairs.
Every evening it’s mindless lust
with the waitress downstairs.

We’ve come across the universe, from outa your world
to have some dumb fun on this planet earth.
We’re picking fights, seeing sights
we bug your dogs late at night
and we’re having a real mad time

We’ve tried your native drugs,
bought tacky souvenirs
of our glorious stay on your planet Earth
we’ll have a lot more fun before we’re outa here
’cause we’re having a real mad time

We’ll scoop you up for a mystery trip and
probe you just for a laugh.
Then we’ll slice up a cow or two, hey,
it’s a thrill and a half.
We’ll chug ammonia in some discount store and
paralyze half the staff

Every morning it’s angel dust
sniffed on the stairs.
Every evening it’s bareback lust
with the waitress downstairs.

We’ve come across the universe, from outa your world
to have some dumb fun on this planet earth.
We’re picking fights, seeing sights
we bug your dogs late at night
and we’re having a real mad time

We’ve tried your native gods,
bought tacky souvenirs
of our glorious stay on your planet Earth
we’ll have a lot more fun before we’re outa here
’cause we’re having a real mad time

Every morning it’s angel dust
sniffed on the stairs.
Every evening it’s guiltless lust
with the waitress downstairs.

We’ve come across the universe, from outa your world
to have some dumb fun on this planet earth.
We’re picking fights, seeing sights
we bug your dogs late at night
and we’re having a real mad time

We’ve probed your native girls,
bought tacky souvenirs
of our glorious stay on your planet Earth
we’ve had a lot more fun but now we’re outa here
but we had a real mad time
yeah we sure had a real mad time
we had areal mad time

AS HE TURNS, the sleeve of his robe knocks over not one, not two, but three large stacks of CDs, DVDs, and books, along with a few stray, ancient video cassettes. Crash. Discs skitter across the floor. Small shards of plastic scatter and glint in a stray ray of sunlight that edges through tightly drawn curtains. A few jewel case inserts escape and slide about. He curses and kicks at the pile of crap, then sighs, and kneels to pick up the debris.

There among the music and movies and such are bits and pieces of his own tattered past. He has had three life-long passions: rock and roll, drugs, and offbeat, out-of-control, Extremely Disturbed women, but over the years he occasionally took time out from those pursuits to make a few stabs at having a career. Of sorts.

One piece of evidence, a video transfer of some ancient 8mm movie footage, now rests on top of a sprung-open Farscape DVD case. It harbors a few scratchy, faded scenes from a youth (mis-?)spent working as a sideshow geek. That was a job he embraced with as much youthful enthusiasm as he did his co-worker The Spider Woman, even as the sideshow was dying (as was the Spider Woman, he later discovered).

Nearby, half buried in naked, now-defenseless CDs, are a few video cassettes from his one brief brush with success. It was the late 80’s. He was actually a well-regarded (in a cultish “I’ve either seen that guy’s face in a ratty fanzine or half-buried in a puddle in some back alley” sort of way) director of horror-porn movies.

Next to his right big toe (he really should cut those nails), under some bits of plastic and the jewel case insert to Goo, is a VHS copy of his masterwork from that time — the barrier-breaking Deep Goat. It tells the strangely touching story of interspecies love in a world too narrow-minded to accept such a thing. It was a story that, of course, could come to no good end. He’s still vaguely proud of that final scene showing the Christian mob dispensing their own bloody version of their god’s justice. The last shot, a closeup of a chewing mouth, lips and chin greasy with small chunks of goat meat, is considered, by some, a classic.

He’s heard that for about 6 months sometime in the 90’s, Deep Goat had been big in Japan. Some bootlegger made, probably, thousands of yen (is that a lot of money?) selling pirated copies there. Takashi Miike was a fan. So he’s heard. But that’s all over now.

He tosses the cassette of Deep Goat back on the pile of rubble, stands, gives the whole mess another halfhearted kick and walks away. He’ll clean it up later. Maybe.

He can be cranky and ill-tempered, these days, and he swears a lot. There’s an anger there, always seething just under the surface, tempered by an odd, forward-looking optimism, in between the moments of quiet desperation. Perhaps it’s simply what occurs when you find yourself careening past the middle of life, sliding down the other side of the hill, wondering where all the time went, wanting it to be worth something, to someone, somewhere, sometime.

So he sits in a dark, cluttered little room, and in between playing computer games, surfing the web, reading about anarchy and transcendence, watching movies and getting high, he beats his brain cells to hell trying to coax songs out of the neurons and electrons, mutating his experience of the world, then throwing the results out into the ether, to be re-inserted into the eternal feedback loop. As the cycle of life continues…

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